Newspaper

Despite it being such an old form of communication, surprisingly newspapers have survived to this day. Newspapers retain most of the properties they have had from the beginning, with the most widespread differences being that of material used for both the paper and the ink. In addition, some newspapers have found clever ways to integrate small video players into their newspaper which can provide moving pictures for viewers, although these aren't seen all that often.

A unique property

One of the most notable properties of newspaper, however, which is seemingly universal in this age is that it has the ability to force creatures that are whacked by it to spit up their stomach contents. The reasons as to why newspaper seems to be magically able to make certain creatures spit up their stomach contents are heavily debated around the galaxy, and while both scientists and religious folk have provided potential explanations, none of them have yet to be completely proven.

One explanation proposed by a religious group which actually worships rolled up newspapers proposes that there were once a pair of ancient deities, Sven and Sune, who were able to travel back and forth in time, these pair had immense power and agreed that they would work together and always consult each other before meddling with the mortal world. One day, Sven took a newspaper from the mortal world to show Sune about a noteworthy even he had discovered. When they met, Sune yelled at Sven for taking the newspaper and began an argument with him over the implications of it. After they fought for a while, Sune had enough and consumed Sven, intending to hold him prisoner within himself as punishment, however bringing the newspaper into their immortal realm had a weird effect, and soon, Sune began to turn mortal, and because of his immense age, he found himself withering away nearly instantly into nothing but dust. Sven is said to still wander the planes of existence, the effect of newspaper a symbol of his mistakes. He is said to be responsible for sudden changes of heart and mind which often lead to the rebirth of failing relationships and companionships, as a way of trying to prevent others from losing those they care about the way he did.

Another explanation proposed by scientists is that the newspapers actually have a combined chemical and physical effect when whacking creatures. Upon impact, according to this explanation, particles of the newspaper will fly off and react with the creature, often through their respiratory system, as well as causing a spike of activity in their nervous systems. These two factors combine to cause a series of muscle contractions which typically lead to the expulsion of stomach contents. The reason this specifically happens is believed to have to do with a specific chemical commonly used in manufacturing newspapers which also loosely binds to specific receptors which are typically found among muscle and nervous tissues found in and around stomach areas.